The Trouble in Store for Rodney McKay
by nightpheonix
Summary: Season 2 sequel to The Many Deaths of Rodney McKay. SECOND HALF OF SEASON 2 IS UP!
1. Season 2, part 1

A/N: Hooray, Yippee, and Wahoo!  
Three big cheers for season two!  
Is it sad that I'm already counting down?  
105 MORE DAYS UNTIL THE BEST SHOWS AROUND!  
Okay, I'm done. I was flabbergasted by the reader response for "TMDoRM." I thought it was just a silly little poem, but apparently it was quite popular! Well, here's the sequel for the first half of season 2. I'll publish the second chapter once S2 ends (it's good to have a chapter delay not be my fault for once!)  
Now for my spectacular rhyming disclaimer:  
I ain't got money and I have no fame-er  
I don't own McKay, the Wraith, Sheppard or zats.  
(They're all glad I don't, and we'll leave it at that)

* * *

**The Trouble in Store for Rodney McKay**

Poor Rodney, good luck surviving season 2.

Wait'll you see what TPTB have in store for you!

After almost four months of pure agony,

Sci-Fi finally aired "Siege pt. 3!"

The Daedalus arrived! Luck and joy!

Now there's a ZPM—hooray! Oh boy!

He went to install their ZPM newfound

But is it ever as easy as it sounds?

When he got there, he did pale,

'Cause two Wraith took out his security detail!

He stood his ground, didn't panic or shout.

He fired his gun…and the clip fell out.

Good thing Teyla came to his rescue,

Otherwise Atlantis'd be royally screwed.

After being pushed dangerously close to snapping,

Rodney deserved to do some napping.

But just when they thought it was all hunky-dory,

Twelve more ships showed up to advance the story!

Atlantis realized the Wraith wouldn't rest,

So they decided to fake their own death.

The "self destruct" was only a cloak and a bomb,

But the Wraith didn't notice anything wrong.

In "Intruder," the team went back to Earth.

But an evil Wraith virus destroyed all their mirth.

Nearly sucked out an airlock and flew close to a sun,

It's a miracle McKay's life wasn't done!

After fear, worry, and concern,

He escaped with just a little sunburn.

In "Runner," however, the sun wasn't so mild.

(With all this radiation, he won't have a child!)

Hung by his ankle from a cord,

And almost shot three times by old buddy Ford.

Ah, but you haven't seen anything yet,

Until you watch what happens in "Duet."

Two minutes after the episode's start,

He and Cadman got sucked up by a Wraith Dart!

When he finally got out, he filled with dread,

Because the lieutenant was stuck in his head!

Everywhere he went, he heard her voice,

He could barely think with all that noise.

She got control of his body, much to his indignation,

And sometimes caused him humiliation.

Especially when she gave poor Beckett a kiss

For the slashers, it's something not to miss.

But despite a seizure and a split personality,

In the whole debacle, there was no fatality.

Of course, the good times wouldn't last

When the next week, the jumper took a blast

And landed on an island of convicts

With whom AT-1 had many conflicts.

Held captive and forced to fix

The jumper or else his friends' lives are nixed!

Although everyone returned in bad shape,

The team pulled off yet another miraculous escape

The week after that was a total disaster,

Things couldn't have gone more wrong, any faster.

The Arcturus project was nearly the end of them all

When Rodney couldn't get power levels to fall.

The weapon destroyed 5/6 of a solar system

And left Radek, Weir, and John pissed at him.

On the next planet they visited they met a Wraith girl,

Who nearly fed on him—oh what a world!

Luckily Carson had his wits about,

He shot Ellia and kicked her out!

Everyone thinks Sheppard had it bad with the mutation,

But getting nearly eaten by Wraith-bugs ain't cause for celebration!

And just when the colonel got normal again,

They found the _Aurora_ and all its men

Living in a fabricated environment

And so, in Sheppard was sent.

The Wraith's weakness sure would come in handy,

But of course things wouldn't stay dandy.

They found a Wraith! Rodney went in too,

Because it was his turn to mount a rescue.

Not only was there the threat of the really hot Wraith,

But Caldwell in them had little faith!

He plan to blow the ship to hell,

They did not have much time to dwell.

The Wraith was killed in both realities,

_Aurora's_ self-destruct took out the cruisers with ease.

All in all, it was quite a day

(They didn't even get the communiqué!)

"The Lost Boys" is where lots of angst kicks in.

The team is kidnapped seconds after it begins.

They're taken to another planet to find…

FORD! Who is still a tad out of his mind.

Just to show that they'd be fine,

Ford poisoned them with Wraith enzyme!

Yet the side-effects were somewhat austere,

Leaving McKay's mind unclear.

But John stopped Rodney's dose, you see,

To help carry out their plot to flee.

Wanting to get everyone back to Atlantis,

The pair fixed the Dart and began to plan this.

But no one is surprised to find

McKay's being held hostage and left behind.

His fate is quite unsure, it's true.

What's gonna happen in part two?

We Atlantis fans don't think we can make

It through another stupid mid-season break!

* * *

Is it January yet? 


	2. Season 2 part 2

**The Trouble in Store for Rodney McKay--part 2**

After 105 days, we finally see "The Hive."

No one knows if Rodney will come out alive!

His measures for escape were quite drastic,

But the bottle of enzyme made him fight fantastic!

But when he got back, much to Weir's dread,

No one understood one word that he said.

Giving up the enzyme completely cold turkey

Certainly didn't leave him chipper and perky.

But after insults and hysterics abound,

He went on the Daedelus to help his team be found.

But alas! The risks he took were unneeded,

Because the rest of the team's escape plan succeeded!

And just when he thought he could relax,

Sheppard was trapped 'cause McKay missed the facts.

But after six months (really a few hours),

The colonel was rescued by that geek of ours.

A new threat was introduced in "Critical Mass"

(And it wasn't just Kavanaugh being an ass)

Goa'uld bombs and the maniacal Trust

Planned to blow Atlantis to dust!

Not only was the Trust encroaching,

But the Wraith cruisers were fast approaching.

Fortunately, Caldwell's Goa'uld gave up the code,

And he was able to stop the ZedPM overload.

"Grace under Pressure" took Rodney to the brink,

When the jumper he flew crashed and began to sink!

Usually he's the one getting people out fine,

Now he's the one needing rescue this time!

Concussion, hypoxia, hypothermia too,

It's the closest he's come to his life being through.

And I haven't even mentioned his hallucination:

A Samantha Carter of his own creation.

The wound on his head continued to bleed,

And his plan to be rescued didn't succeed,

It took quite a while for McKay to be found

(It would've been easier to follow the "whump" sound).

But thanks to Zelenka and Sheppard as well,

He got out of that situation from hell.

The next week he was trapped underground,

When an earthquake caused the ceiling to fall down.

He had no way out and couldn't radio for help

And if he used power, the ceiling would collapse on itself!

Sure, by means of the drone, he found a way,

But Teyla was more worried if the ZedPM was okay!

He wasn't the victim in "The Long Goodbye"

But everything else quickly went awry.

He spent the episode under Caldwell's command,

And had to repair damage done by Pheobus' hands.

"Coup D'Etat": they were bribed with a Zero Point Mod.,

Believing that Ladon wasn't a fraud.

But during this supposed Genii civil war,

Cowen tried to kill him (time number four).

So many double crossings, it's hard to keep straight,

Are they really an ally? We'll just have to wait!

In "Michael," he had just fifteen lines to speak,

But with more Hive Ships coming, the future looked bleak.

A new plan was needed for Atlantis' defense,

Leaving us all in terrible suspense.

Until the next week, when we come to

"Inferno," which had almost nothing to do

With the Wraith coming. But oh well,

Everything still managed to go to hell.

When the gate fell into an active volcano,

Leaving the team stranded with nowhere to go

The only option was to fix the Orion

To keep the Taranian people from dyin'

From poisonous fumes and dust blocking out the sun,

Cause by an explosion of many megatons!

His escape was close-- they nearly didn't make it out,

But he repaired the hyperdrive (was there ever a doubt?)

We had thought everything up to now was dire,

But "Allies" trumps all, makes the stakes even higher.

A pact with the Wraith for the retrovirus, in trade

For Hive ship specs—an alliance was made.

The Brilliant McKay left the Wraith systems hacked,

So Rodney and Ronon were on the Hive when attacked!

When they tried to escape, the transceiver was jammed

The alliance was fake--they had been scammed!

They Wraith used his help, and then did betray,

To get to feeding grounds in the Milky Way!

Now McKay's in Wraith hands, Sheppard is gone,

And "To Be Continued"--the countdown is on.

Now we Atlantis fans feel all depressed,

Because we must wait four months—I propose a protest!

But poor Rodney deserves this long break,

After this season, how much more can he take?

* * *

A/N: I would just like to thank anyone and everyone who reviewed this story and its prequel, you guys all rock! I would also like to YELL at the SCI-FI CHANNEL EXECUTIVES for making us WAIT until JULY for the CONCLUSION! As I said earlier, the countdown is on. See you in season 3! 


End file.
